Open letter to the Gods of Knitting

19 Feb

gods of knitting

 

Dear Gods of Knitting,

Why have you forsaken me?  The Gods of Sewing aren’t half as picky.

I know I only began to follow your enlightened path as a cheap, portable craft but this was such a slip; now I am ashamed to have shown you such disrespect.  But since then have I not made amends?  Buying rainbow hued needles, countless stitch counters and miles of marvellous yarn; does this not show my subservience to your might and glory?  Yet still you block me.

The untold hours I have spent learning your intricate ways.  Immeasurable time has been devoted to your sacred text – You Tube – where I’ve rubbed needles with fellow Sisters in Stitches to wallow in your purls of woolly wisdom.  P, K YO, Sl SSK – to the untrained eye merely a terrible round in Scrabble, but to me, your sacred language shines through.  I have revelled in Ravelry, been drawn in by the passion of your disciples, and awed by the thousands of projects tantalisingly marked ‘beginner’.

What do I get in return for this devotion?  Scarves whose edges roll up.  Downright uncomfortable socks.  Mittens with dirty great holes in them.  This inventory of misery doesn’t include The Forgotten Ones which have been dissolved on the altar of common decency.  Oh you bewilder me!   When I know, and can consistently perform, each stitch and technique in a pattern why does it turn out like a rag?  The gentle pluck, pluck, pluck as stitches are ripped away is the soundtrack of my torment.

I cannot gauge how these short rows of text will be received. Will it be yarn over?  Am I to be cast off?  As for requests, I make one: pick up my lowly knitting spirits.  Let me no longer be laced with disappointment, but allow me to wrap, and turn, in glorious knitted projects.  Please, let me slip knot in to the crooked hook of crochet…

Yours faithfully

Hanny Bobbins

https://hannybobbins.wordpress.com

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9 Responses to “Open letter to the Gods of Knitting”

  1. Sara 24/02/2013 at 1:51 pm #

    Very,very clever!! I would like to learn to knit one of these days. I quilt currently and I think that mistakes can happen as well with it,but with yarn it isn’t as easy of a fix. That is just what I gathered from the little bit of loom knitting I have done.

    • hannybobbins 25/02/2013 at 8:10 pm #

      I quilt a very little and have also had some horrendous faux paus with that too! I think precision crafting is a challenge for me; I may be stuck with finger painting! I am consoling myself with the notion it is the process which is important…!

  2. Stella Nemeth 24/02/2013 at 3:53 pm #

    The Gods of Knitting don’t much like me either these days. I’ve been trying to learn how to knit socks. I’ve been knitting wearable garments for 60+ years, but have not managed even one sock that has been worth finishing. The most recent one was just HUGE. And the heel didn’t photograph as ugly as it really was. So far I’ve attempted toe up – never got past the toe. Cuff down, twice. The first time I never got to the heel. The second time I finished it.

    So far I’ve bought two online classes both with decent teachers and one book. I’ve ordered yet another book with a totally different system. Maybe third time is a charm?

    • hannybobbins 25/02/2013 at 8:08 pm #

      Oh Stella you make me feel better! I have resorted to buying a book this weekend… Maybe they’ll smile on me! I will not be holding my breath!

  3. mom2fur (aka Clare) 05/03/2013 at 8:09 pm #

    Aww, don’t be discouraged! Try practicing on something really small, like a dishcloth. Even if you goof, you can still clean with it, LOL! You can get some Lily Sugar and Cream cotton yarn and play with all kinds of stitches.
    I’m more of a crocheter than a knitter and have made some crochet socks as well as other easy garments. I’m trying to learn more about knitting. My own bugbear is double-pointed needles. I just can’t figure them out–my stitches always fall off!
    Now, about the scarves with edges that curl up…this will happen if the pattern is a stockinette stitch. (You know, with those Vs on one side and wavy things on the other). I don’t know why and fixing it involves something I couldn’t be bothered with: blocking. The trick, I have found, is to do two or three garter stitches (in other words, knit on both sides) at the beginning and end of the row. You would have to add four to six stitches total to the design, and you’ll end up with a border, but it will look nice and won’t curl.
    Good luck! Start small and learn a little more with each project!

    • hannybobbins 10/03/2013 at 9:26 pm #

      wow thanks for your detailed reply – you are so encouraging and kind. Great explanation of the rolling up, thank you. I tried knitting a hot water bottle cover this weekend, it was an improvement, but not by much. AS you say, start small. I think everyone is going to get a washcloth for their birthday…! thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog

      • mom2fur (aka Clare) 10/03/2013 at 9:31 pm #

        A friend made about a dozen washcloths in different colors and tied them all together as a gift–there’s an idea for you, LOL! 🙂

      • hannybobbins 10/03/2013 at 9:45 pm #

        lol that is absolutely INSPIRED!!!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Knitting progress | Hanny Bobbins - 06/10/2013

    […] I feel like I have really moved my knitting on in the last few months – perhaps my letter has been answered?! […]

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